21 September 2015

Homesickness or AKA Adjustment Disorder

Travelling back home this week it got me thinking about homesickness and adjustment. I currently have quite a few patients from the UK or adolescents in college/university who suffer from adjustment disorder and homesickness. this does not necessarily mean they want to go back home however it is a state of mind that seems to effect the brain biologically. I thought i would do some research on this and look at the science behind it.

It seems that homesickness is a state of emotional distress that people sometimes experience when they are separated from supportive friends or family members in an unfamiliar environment. There’s some debate about whether “homesickness” is a unique emotion or a combination of reactions. In many ways, it seems it is mostly loneliness combined with a sense of feeling out of place and wanting to return to familiar, supportive environments.

Homesickness is about adjusting to new relationships. Most, if not all, of the known and comfortable relationships are back at home. In this new place there can be a struggle to become accepted. This adjustment may be felt as even more difficult if you are, say, a foreign student, deeply religious, a homosexual, or a member of any minority group. It is important to be aware of homesickness as a normal process which you may go through. It is a time of letting go. You are not alone in this experience.

Homesickness can include:

being miserable without knowing why
feeling like a prisoner in your own room
being unable to get into a reassuring routine
not liking meals at the flat or the college because the atmosphere doesn’t feel right
wondering what people at home are doing; feeling as if you are missing out
wanting to go home straight after you have arrived
not liking coming back after the holidays
being conscious you are doing things out of character
thinking you are the only person on campus with homesick feelings
being unable to settle anything
crying for no reason
getting anxious or upset about little things that used not to bother you
finding the values of people around you strange and vaguely threatening
getting fed up with new food, new smells, new scenery, and wanting the familiar
an experience, a state of feeling that will pass, sooner or later.

Students who are also off to their new universities will tend to suffer from this so what can we all do to help these symptoms:

Set your room up with something familiar from home
Make an effort to talk to someone new
Try to leave your door open sometimes when you are sitting in your room — someone might pass by and say ‘hello’!
Get into activities which build up a storehouse of good new memories for you
Talk to someone else about how you feel – any new student will probably feel much the same as you do
If you live in college, make use of all the support structures there
Respond to the invitations of others to places or events where you will meet more people
If you have been involved in a religious or other national or international group at home, see if you can contact the local branch in Armidale
It is hard to let go of home, but ringing home too often in the first few weeks may prolong homesickness for you
Recognise that this is a grief experience. Have a good cry; it’s nothing to be ashamed of, when you’re really feeling down
Jot down thoughts, experiences and dreams in a journal, and try to make some sense out of the different pieces
Be kind to yourself – it is OK to miss home and perfectly normal. After all, you have spent most of your life there until now, so tears can be cleansing

Dr Sandra Darmanin Psy.D;MA;B.Psy (Hons.)